Closed Curtains
Closed Curtains (11/1/2005)
I can’t collect my thoughts as I try to be intriguing
My confidence, of sorts, well apparently, is leaving
And when you turn and see me, I can’t control the beating
Racing nervousness of the words that are so fleeting
So I turn to tricks and cheating, repeating the same verses
I learn it to a tee, then I stand and just rehearse it
Cause like any other person who hides behind a curtain
The generics that I say serve a certain kind of purpose
But, now it all seems worthless, as I crumble down in awe
The smile that you showed me didn’t seem to have a flaw
And I want to see it more just to find out why I like it
The reasons I don’t need cause I don’t intend to fight it
But, now here in the silence, I think a million thoughts
Part of me is scared that the fear and hate are lost
And so I may be forced to let some see the source
Exposing to the world the pain on which I’m caught
None of this has meaning and I know that you won’t read it
But, still, it’s so intriguing and I say it cause I need it
A simple little smile and a funny little glare
Next thing I fucking know, I’m here tearing our my hair
Cause I’m so afraid to care and I have nothing to share
A void full of the emptiness of a life beyond repair
And I still don’t think it’s fair that anyone should know it
So I grip the curtain tight and hold a flow to go with
Spilling out, so open, in this rhyme that won’t bring closure
I’m petrified to move and I’m fearing more exposure
I thought that I’d get colder with the weight upon my shoulders
Now you shook my heart awake, I’m just one pathetic soldier
Note: Only I could find anger and fear in someone lighting a small spark in a long frozen heart.
Filed under: Poems