Xpression.v2

Short Outburst (10/3/2005)

I explode with emotion, too often, causing commotion
It’s like I’m bound to the hatred, the only one who is chosen
God, I’m feeling so frozen, I’m so scarred from confusion
That I just want to give up and join you in delusion
But, with your painful intrusion and abuse of my friendship
I refuse to lie down ’til I can take it and end it
I cherished the moments that I was graced with your presence
But the restrictions you placed have stripped it of it’s essence
And I’m here with a message, though I know you’ll ignore it
It’s a thought I denied, stuffed it way down in storage
Now, I’m digging deep for it in some hope to repair it
If I find the right answer, I will call you and share it

So, what am I doing? Where do I walk to from here?
I don’t have a damn clue and I am so full of fear
The voices I hear lead me to my self destruction
The hurt I’ve ignored has led to my soul’s corruption
And the hate’s in production, I’m sarcastic and jaded
I’m sharing my pain with those I feel that should take it
Just grab it and rape it and break it to pieces
Burn up all that I feel and just end what is ceaseless
Cause I don’t really need this, I don’t want to have it
It has broken me down and led me to my habits
I’m a prick, I’m an addict, I am nothing you’ve needed
Just tear out my veins ’til you’ve won and succeeded

Note: My third attempt at addressing all that’s on my mind. The relationship that Maria and I have shared is winding down and this is my addressal of it. It’s a little shorter than my usual stuff, but this was my third attempt tonight and I’m exhausted now.

Filed under: Poems