Lost in a Choice
Lost in a Choice (9/25/2005)
I’m so lost in the choices that lay here beside me
I can’t figure out what I feel down inside me
My face is for hiding; I can’t remain hidden
Though I will keep trying ’til I regain my vision
But, it’s like an incision, thoughts that keep bleeding
I wash them away, yet I keep retreating
Running from clouds that fog navigation
And addict me to her ’til she leaves in frustration
It’s temptation from one who’s beauty’s entrancing
She’s not even here yet she’s in my head dancing
No love or romancing, external attraction
A few worthy thoughts for my own satisfaction
I’m not looking for action, but she gives me attention
It kind of feels nice to let go of retention
And to let it all flow and just go how it goes
Though the look in my eyes is always so cold
And I try not to fold, but when she gets near me
My senses erupt and I can not think clearly
As she’s pressed to my chest in a hug or whatever
The tug, in my gut, says to be one of same feather
But with every damn choice, there is always another
The girl that I care for, that gives my life color
A little bit cold and not nearly as flirty
Though it’d kill me to know that she could be hurting
But if you’d observe me as we’re sharing our time
You’d see a small smile that has roots down inside
A warmth and a hope that I’d once forgotten
Invoked in a soul she makes whole and not rotten
A little less trodden, less worn to the bone
She gives me the strength to proceed down the road
So often alone, but so alive when she’s with me
I just wish she would see the same things down within me
The rhyme is collapsing and my thoughts are all cloudy
A million damn voices all in my head shouting
Here, I sit, doubting and hoping for answers
Before I screw up and lose both my chances
Note: It’s a little rough around the edges, but my focus is shot to hell.
Filed under: Poems