Xpression.v2

Unconfident Performer (9/7/2005)

I’m not here for a fight, just to work through confusion
I’m all twisted inside and need to find a solution
Am I just going stupid or perhaps I’m not fearless
I start to act clueless the moment she’s nearest
But it’s so hard being peerless, nobody on the same level
I have to work it alone and I become so disheveled
Fighting my devils, trying to act all collected
But deep down inside, I’m a mess that’s reflected
Please give me directions, what words to say when
Give me paper to write on, silent words from the pen
I’m so bold when I’m writing, but can’t speak it to her
The things that I feel, the words start to get blurred
My confidence gets obscured by the sound of knees shaking
A stomach in knots and a heart that is quaking
In my attempt to be perfect, I’m fall far from the goal
Flat on my face, I guess the scars take their toll
And the scars break a soul and the power behind it
I crawl back to the hole where’s it safe to be prideless
A lyrical stylist with no real clue how to speak
A man who is shyest when there’s no time to be weak

I don’t know what to do next or what path I should choose
I have grown so damn weary of wearing these shoes
Frustration ensues and begins to consume me
My rhymes show I’m strong, but don’t be so assuming
Cause, deep inside looming, is my weakness and hatred
Darkness and pain and I’m too tired to take it
I just want to give up and forget and escape it
Grab it all in my hands and squeeze it and break it
And quickly replace it with the man she desires
A mask for a face of the hope that’s expired
I’ll be a new person, a new man for the better
Emptied of darkness and filled with her treasure

Back Story: I’m pretty sure this one speaks for itself. I’m just analyzing my inability to be as confident in real life as I am in my writing.

Update: Edited it a bit. There were some rough parts that needed to be smoothed out. It should flow better now.

Filed under: Poems